Alice Gunn is a cleaner woman
Down at Government Buildings,
And after seven o'clock Mass last night
(Isn't it a treat to be able to go to Sunday Mass
On a Saturday! To sit down to Saturday Night TV
Knowing you've fulfilled your Sunday obligations!)
She came back over to The Flats for a cup of tea
(I offered her sherry but she declined--
Oh I never touch sherry on a Saturday night--
Whatever she meant by that, I don't know).
She had us all in stitches, telling us
How one afternoon after a Cabinet Meeting
(One of those afternoons when it gets dark so early
That the streetlamps are all lit up by 3.30 pm)
She got one of the Security Men
To lie down on the Cabinet Table,
And what she didn't do to him--
And what she did do to him--
She didn't half tell us;
But she told us enough to be going on with.
Do you know what it is?--she says to me:
No--says I--what is it?
It's Mahogany--she says--Pure Mahogany.