Once upon a time, there were three bad children, named Tara, Jamie and Dusty. Even though their fairy godmother had warned them not to go into the dark and haunted woods of the Internet Trash Forest, off they went, merrily singing and skipping along, until they came to the cottage of an evil storyteller named Joseph. Joseph was a bad, bad man who told the truth, instead of the happy, sparkily fairy tales which Tara, Jamie and Dusty would share with all of their friends at the Inn of the Magic Mushroom.

Oh horror! Oh fright! Joseph was telling true stories about them, and all they had done was tell false stories about him! How mean! So off they went crying to Rob the cowardly woodsman, ruler of the Internet Trash forest. "Oh save us, Rob the cowardly woodman!" they cried "Joseph has told false tales of us. Oh, and please don't let him tell you his side of the story. Just chop down his evil cottage and don't ask any more questions". Even though the Evil Joseph could prove every word that he said was true, Rob the cowardly woodsman boarded up the room where Joseph would tell the stories of Tara and her friends. "Ah", said he, "now all will be happy. Am I not the wisest of rulers?".

Joseph grew angry and built a new cottage, in the even darker and more haunted Newsguy forest. "I love the old cottage", said he, "and I would be sad if Rob the cowardly woodsman chopped it down, for it is the first cottage that I ever built, and even evil storytellers can be a little sentimental. But if he thinks that he can tell me which tales I will tell and which I will not, he's got another thing coming. I have always told the truth, never more, and I will never tell less, no matter how many little children go crying to Rob or any other woodsman".

At this, some said, the three censorious little children would burst into tears. Whether they did or not, none can ever say, for they found out that they had just written another chapter for Joseph's story and wet their pants and got lost trying to find their way to the bathroom and nobody has found them, since. Nobody worth listening to, anyway. The End.

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