National Clothesline

By Bill Bogus

The day was as quiet as a Sunday morning. Sunday mornings are usually quiet, but this day was not Sunday. It was Saturday, and Saturday morning is a busy time for drycleaners. But this Saturday wasn’t.

Charley Mosey was miserably disappointed. As the owner of Charles Cleaners, he had every right to be miserable as he stood looking out the storefront window at a cloudburst of falling snow that was building mounds every where.

This is what made it so quiet. There was no sound of traffic since people were cooped up in their homes. Charley was beginning to get cabin fever. He was trapped in his own business. He became so obsessed with the snow he almost forgot that Millie, the counter girl, was in the store preparing to hang up invoices for assembly.

What made you come in so early?” he asked. “I’m surprised to see you here.”

“I felt somebody should be here in case you could not make it,” Millie replied. “You won’t believe it, but I did have a customer. He was waiting at the door when I got here.”

“I appreciate what your are doing, but it looks like we won’t be busy today,” said Charley.

“That’s for sure, Mr. Charles. The weatherman said we are going to have four feet of snow before it stops, And from what I’m seeing, It just might go over five feet,” she said.

“That’s not what I wanted to hear,” Charley answered. “I’m getting to believe those damnable TV news people prayed for this to happen. They love to scare people with bad news. I’m going on back to the coffee pot. When you get through come on back and let’s both have coffee. They say coffee keeps one alert for thinking. With this miserable weather, I’m having a hard time thinking. What I’m thinking about is advertising. Will you help me?”

“I sure will, Mr. Charles, I’m almost finished here. What’s up?”

“Well, what I’m trying, Millie, is to make up an ad to attract more people to become customers and I don’t have the foggiest idea where to start.”

“Start at the beginning. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, Mr. Charles. I felt It was just funny.”

“That’s okay, Millie, no one wants to listen to a grouch. That’s probably the reason I can’t think. My mind is elsewhere.”

“Would you want me to start the ad?” Millie asked.

“I sure do,” Charley replied.”

“Well, Mr. Charles, you must realize that customers come to us because they like our services. Some come to us because we were recommended for doing better work.

“Then there are women, professional career women, who care less for trendy clothes and buy expensive, quality garments in keeping up a good appearance. For them, appearance is important and they are very particular about their drycleaning and…”

“Hold it a second, Millie. I hear a noise from the front.”

“I’ll check and see,” Millie said. “Oh, it’s Pete. He just came in. He was just stomping and shaking off the snow. He won’t be doing much spotting today Come to think of it, Mr. Charles, Pete goes to school every afternoon. He’s studying advertising and likes it a lot. He showed me a book he is reading called Modern Advertising. I’m sure he could help you with the ad.”

“Have him come back, Millie.”

“Come out back, Pete. The boss wants you to join the session.”

‘What kind of session is that?” Pete asked.

“It’s about advertising,” Millie said.

“Sounds interesting. Is he worried about something?” Pete asked.

“Not only worried,” Millie said. “He’s gotten a little moody, but not real moody. He keeps saying ‘huh’ and ‘what’ a lot. Let’s go on back, Pete.”

“Have a seat,” Pete,” Charley said. “Millie and I were having a discussion on advertising. She tells me that you are studying advertising. Is that right?”

“Yes sir, I like it very much. It’s very interesting. Some day in the future, I would like to work for an advertising agency.”

That’s OK with me,” Charley said. “I think you’ll do well at it. Now who wants to start with the ad?”

“Let Pete start,” Millie said.

“Thanks, Millie. The first thing I want to say is I like the direct mail idea. It goes to the person you want to reach and you hope he or she reads it and responds. Now the man living down by the creek living in a shack will probably throw the mailer away. That’s understandable.

“This tells us the people we want to reach are the people with a greater income and higher education who buy expensive clothes and choose the services of an experienced professional dry-cleaner.

“The important thing is, how do we, attract the attention of these busy, particular people? This is done in the headline. Old-timer salesmen called this getting your foot in the door. If you couldn’t, you had no chance of making a sale.

“In order to build a good headline you need to use nouns and verbs. Nouns build concrete imagery and verbs build the action attracting the prospect to read it. There is an old saying that went something like this: ‘Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me.’ Here you have to have concrete nouns and one verb.

“Now, where do you find a good headline for your copy? You’ll find it up front at the counter by the questions customers ask. Millie knows how to get customers to ask questions. And the answers she gives come from IFI bulletins. She knows what questions the customers ask the most. Usually the questions asked have a human need. The headline should respond directly towards that need and the cleaner, or us in this case, should give assurance that the need will be provided in a professional manner. Finding needs is no problem because by asking questions, needs will surface. You cannot make an analysis on a one-time mailer. Test your copy in smaller amounts before you make the big blast. That’s about all I can say,” Pete said.

“I can see Millie wants to say something. It’s your turn, Millie, go ahead.”

“Okay. Here is what customers are telling me, and here are some of my answers. Ladies usually say, ‘Please be careful with this suit; it is brand new and expensive. There is a slight ring around the collar and I want this suit drycleaned. Can you remove the ring around the collar without damaging it.’ The answer: ‘We sure can, and the suit will still look like brand new.’

“The customer said, ‘I hate to have a new garment cleaned for the first time because the newness is all gone and this garment is grayish and feels like a dishrag. I worry about that and feel like a small boy getting his first haircut.’ The answer: ‘I know how you feel, but what we do here is not just ordinary drycleaning. You can be sure of that. We care about restoring your garments to feel fresh and clean, like new. And we have an experienced spotter who can remove spots and stains without causing damage”

“What do you say, Mr. Charles, did we say enough?” Millie asked.

“You did more than enough and I appreciate it,” Charley said. “I’m going to put this stuff together and take it to a printer.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Pete said.

“Why not?” Charley asked. “Well, a printer is a printer and not an ad man,” Pete said. “I would give the information to an advertising agency familiar with advertising for drycleaners.”

“Offhand I don’t know of anyone like that,” Charley said. “Did you ever read the National Clothesline trade paper?” Pete asked.

“Sometimes,” Charley replied.

“Most all drycleaners read it on a regular basis. For those who are looking to buy, they can look in the Clothesline to see what they want to buy. As far as advertising is concerned, there is a column written by an agency called The Golomb Group. They have been helping drycleaners in advertising and promotional campaigns for many years. I would call them first before I would do anything. If it is all right with you, Mr. Charles, it is time for me to go. I’ll see you all tomorrow. OK?”

“That’s for sure,” Charley said, “Thanks a lot Pete and drive carefully. The roads are slippery. I hate the damn snow.”